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 Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon

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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Wed May 02, 2007 9:31 pm

I sorta like SOME contry songs , but I can understand TOTALY why Edward dosn't ... lol ... I can't think of anything at the moment ... hmmmm ...
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missingauthor

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Number of posts : 2
Age : 23
Registration date : 2007-04-25

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Thu May 03, 2007 7:18 pm

edward: *sparkling at forks high
teacher: Edward, why are you sparkling
Edward: be sparkly, its all the rage in idaho
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He'sMyLife

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Number of posts : 87
Age : 27
Location : Here and There...
Registration date : 2007-04-04

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri May 04, 2007 9:15 am

Edward: Hey Mike...how about going hunting with me this weekend?
Mike: We're going hunting together?? YAY!!
Edward: (thinking to himself) yeah, Something like that.
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twinkerbella

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Number of posts : 12
Age : 24
Location : hiding in the back seat of edward's volvo
Registration date : 2007-05-06

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Mon May 07, 2007 4:25 pm

okay...hmm...lete me take a whack at this...

::bella walks by::
edward: ::sings:: i like big butts and i can not lie!
bella: ::slaps:: perv...


::bella wlaks into edwards room, edwards reading on his couch::
bella: whatcha reading edward?
edward: vampirism for dummies


bella: edward play my lullaby for me!
edward: no way! im sick of playing it for you! learn to play the piano and play it for yourself!


(i actually got this from deviantart but i'll put it here for everyone...)
edward: yo momma is SOO fat...
volturi: ::snaps:: oh no you di-int!


emmett: hey bella lets go get you drunk!
bella: sure why not?! and lets see if edward wants to watch!


jasper: alice i think you bought enough shoes for today sweetie...
alice: no! i NEED more shoes.
jasper: but--
alice: DONT tell me that i dont need anymore shoes!!!!! grr....
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twinkerbella

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Number of posts : 12
Age : 24
Location : hiding in the back seat of edward's volvo
Registration date : 2007-05-06

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Mon May 07, 2007 4:38 pm

here i go again!
XxXxXxXx {0.o}xXxXxXxX

mike: bella ive got something to tell you...

bella: yes mike?

mike: ive decided that im gay.

bella: ::mutters under breath:: thank god...

mike: what was that bella?

bella: ::soft giggles:: oh nothing ::smile:: so...wow...um why exactly are you telling ME this mike??

mike: well...edward...he's pretty hot.

bella: yeah i know......wait WHAT?! what are you trying to say mike? that your gonna steal edward?!

mike: uh--

bella: oh hell no! edward freakin straight!

mike: yeah well you know its possible to change someone...

bella: NOOO! hes mine! ::slaps::

mike: ::rubs cheek:: ow...

::edward enters::

edward: hey...whats going on?

mike: ::quickly fixes himself up:: hey...e-edward! so i was wondering...

bella: ::grabs edwards hand and pulls him away quickly::

mike: ::calls after them:: WAIT EDWARD! I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU MY NUMBER!!!
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He'sMyLife

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Number of posts : 87
Age : 27
Location : Here and There...
Registration date : 2007-04-04

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Tue May 08, 2007 9:00 am

haha thats so funny
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Emmettshomegrl!

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Registration date : 2007-04-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Tue May 08, 2007 6:07 pm

ok ok heres one
Edward- hey Bella
Bella- EWWW EDWARD CULLEN!!
yeah i kno it sux
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twinkerbella

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Location : hiding in the back seat of edward's volvo
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PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Tue May 08, 2007 6:57 pm

Emmettshomegrl! wrote:
ok ok heres one
Edward- hey Bella
Bella- EWWW EDWARD CULLEN!!
yeah i kno it sux

no its cute. that definitely wont be said in twilight (hense the forum name...) i like it.
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Emmettshomegrl!

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PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Wed May 09, 2007 5:24 pm

thank u! :]
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri May 11, 2007 11:45 pm

ok i'm hyper tonight so people, be afraid
who knows what i'll do to the Cullen's on the skit thread *insert evil laughter here*
*cough*

*Bella and Alice are at the Mall shopping*
Bella: lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes
Alice: omg shoes, omg shoes, omg shoes
Bella: these shoes are three hundred dollars, lets get them!

heh... that sorta sucked

Jassica: It's Edward Cullen!
Edward: Really!!? Where?!
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twinkerbella

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Number of posts : 12
Age : 24
Location : hiding in the back seat of edward's volvo
Registration date : 2007-05-06

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Sat May 12, 2007 10:33 pm

IveComeToTakeYourCheese wrote:
*Bella and Alice are at the Mall shopping*
Bella: lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes, lets get some shoes
Alice: omg shoes, omg shoes, omg shoes
Bella: these shoes are three hundred dollars, lets get them!

omg! i love that! hee...shoes...
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Thu May 17, 2007 5:26 pm

*all the Cullens are sitting around a camp fire*
Emmett: Hey guys!! lets sing a song!
Jasper: how 'bout the camp fire song song!
all: Yeah? its the C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! its the C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! if you think we can't sing it any fast then your wrong! it would help if you all sang along!!
*somehwere off in the woods a wolf howls, probably Jake*



Bella: oh my gosh! Like two weeks ago i talked Cameron Diaz out of buying this henious (sp?) angora sweater! who ever said orange was the new pink was Seriously disturbed.
*Cullens stare at Bella, dumbfound*


Edward: *to Bella* So its your 'time of the month' huh?
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Tue May 29, 2007 9:17 pm

sorry for the double post, but i have an insperation (sp?)

Edward: Houston we have a problem
Jasper: Its always problem, problem, problem with you guys! Don't you ever call just to say hi?!
Edward: Shocked

can't you just imagine Jasper saying that in the gayest voice. hehe... Cool
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Wed May 30, 2007 5:48 pm

Jake: I VANT TO SUCK VOUR BLOOD!!!
Bella: Shocked
Jake: What ? Don't you like Vampires ?
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Wed Jun 13, 2007 9:23 pm

hehe.. i LOVE that one ^^

Emmett: I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MEYER WEINER!!! OH THAT IS WHAT I REALLY WANT TO BE!!! CUZ IF I WAS AN OSCAR MEYER WEINER!!! EVERYONE WOULD BE IN LOVE WITH ME!!! -hic- *passes out*

Rosalie: Now what do we do with the body?
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:22 pm

lol ... that was hilarious (sp?)

I love the whole: "now what do we do with the body" thing ... lol ...
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:27 pm

lol
you might want to check out the Drunk Vampires Thread on the Twilight Lexicon
you'd be surprised
*winces at memories of Emmett's fetish with pickles, JAspers fetish with Pink (the pink vampire bra) and well... drunk vampires*
_________________________________________________________________

Jasper: Maybe we can turn the body int -hic- to more vodka.

Alice: nosh! not Emmett shilly. -hic- how aboutsh Bella

Edward: NOOOOOO!!!! *throws a punch in the air, turns around in circles, falls to the ground out cold*
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:33 pm

well ... that was ... enlightening (sp?)... *cough* *cough*

anyway ....


(( i know this sucks, but oh well ))

Jasper: Bella's comming over ?

Ed: Ya.

Jasper: Hide the rum !

(( weird Pirates2 crack ... sorry ... lol ... ))
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:39 am

Edward: why would we want to hide the rum?

Jacob:*sigh* since she's turned 21 she's been all over the stuff

Edward: she's not 21... Shocked

Jacob: she's not?... *high-pitch girly scream* OH MY GOD SHE"S AN UNDERAGE DRINKER!!!!! CALL THE COPS!!!! *passes out from lack of air*

Edward: *shrugs and chugs a bottle of vodka* ah... that hitsh the shpot -hic-
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:34 am

Bella: My vodka ! Edward !

*Bella and Edward start fighting over Vodka *

*Edward wresels bottel away from Bella *

Edward: Ha ha ... I got ... hic ... it !

*Edward gets up and runs a wide circle around them, but it looks a little wobbly *

Carslile: That idn't a good sighn ....

Alice: Edward ! You shouldn't be running while intoxicated !

Bella: Ya ! And where are you goiung with my Vodka ?
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
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Location : with Revelle5132, missmack123, and AmeCullen, hitting Jacob with a rolled up newspaper
Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:44 pm

Bella: *sighs, seeing as Edward isn't going to stop anytime soon* Alish, you up for shome tequila shotsh?

Alice: i don't know... i mean look at Edward... and that's just rum and vodka...

Bella: Pleash? -hic-

Alice: your drunk Bells...

Bella: sho? -hic-

Alice: you don't need this *takes the shot glasses and tequila away from Bella, who's trying to open the bottle with her teeth*

Bella: GIVE ME BACK MY TEQUILA!!!!!!! Evil or Very Mad

Alice: *gulp*

Edward: I WANTSH A -hic- PONY DADDDDDY!!!!

Carlisle: oh dear god...
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:20 pm

*Alice sips cautiously then takes a big gulp*

Alice: Hey ! This stuff is *hic* great Bella !

*Bella grabs bottel from Alice*

Alice: Hey ! Give that back !

*Bella holds alchihal (sp?) over Alice's head*

Bella: Ha ha ! I'm taler than you !

Charslile (thinking): Wow ... she must be realy alchihal suseptable, she's only had a few sips and she allready can't think clearly enough to just jump up and grab the bottel. She can easily jump a few feet in the air ...

Aro: Absolutly amazing. I must try this !

*Aro grabs bottel from Bella*

Bella: Stupid vampires ... allways taking my alchihal away .... stupid onion butt ... stupid edward ... stupid alice ... grrrr ...
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Eternity'sTime

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Number of posts : 917
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:49 pm

Aro: *tries to grab the bottle of alcohol (dictionary.com does wonders) from Bella*

Bella: *hisses* NOSH! My Tequila!!! -hic-

Aro: amazing... simply amazing...

Carlisle: Aro, trust me, you DON'T want any of that

Aro: why not? have you tried it?

Carlisle: well... no.

Alice: Bellllla! I want -hic- my tequila backsh

Bella: It ishn't -hic - yoursh

Edward: Itsh mine!! *tackles Bella lightly and grabs the bottle of tequila* Haha! -hic-

Bella: EEEDDDDDDDW -hic- WWAAARRRRRRDDD!!!

Carlisle: *takes tequila from Edward, chugs it and makes a face, wiping access (sp?) alcohol from lips* woah... that shome shtufff -hic-

Aro: *grabs a bottle of rum* To alcohol!

Alice, Bella, Edward, and Carlisle: TO ALCOHOLSH!!!

*they all chug a bottle of rum*

Jasper: *walks in and sees everybody too drunk to function* woah...
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
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PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:09 pm

Jasper collapses and gets up after a minuet

Jasper: Dang ! You guys are so drunk I can hardly stand up.

Edward: No ... you can't have any ...

Jasper: I didn't say ... oh ... well ... says who ?

Charslile (now drunk as well): Ya, says who ? *hic*

Edward: well ... only if you go get... *hic* ... us all some more ... *hic* ... vodka ... *hic*

Jack Sparrow: And more rum !

Bella: Where did you come from ?

Jack Sparrow: I'm not realy sure, but I seem to magicaly apear whenever their's free rum offered ... ( :pirat: )
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chibichomp



Number of posts : 121
Location : Texas
Registration date : 2007-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Things that would never be said in Twilight and/or New Moon   Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:12 pm

i have started geting this confused with th "SKITS BY EVERY ONE" ... lol ... it has prety much turned into one anyway ...
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